Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus The bad news is that when secure people do, on occasion, enter into a negative relationship, they might not know when to call it quits-especially if it's a long-term, committed relationship in which they feel responsible for their partner's happiness."A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." The good news is that people with a secure attachment style have healthy instincts and usually catch on very early that someone is not cut out to be their partner.
Secure people are likely to offer relatively benign explanations of their partners' hurtful actions and be inclined to forgive the partner." Also, as we've seen previously in this chapter, secure people just naturally dwell less on the negative and can turn off upsetting emotions without becoming defensively distant. understanding a transgressor's needs and motives, and making generous attributions and appraisals concerning the transgressor's traits and hurtful actions. They explain this as a complex combination of cognitive and emotional abilities: "Forgiveness requires difficult regulatory maneuvers. Mario Mikulincer and Phillip Shaver, in their book Attachment in Adulthood, show that people with a secure attachment style are more likely than others to forgive their partner for wrongdoing. As long as they have reason to believe their partner is in some sort of trouble, they'll continue to back him or her. people with a secure attachment style view their partners' well-being as their responsibility.
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